Teaching from Rest

3 ideas that changed my perspective on homeschooling

Assalamualeikum!

Dear readers,

I’m reaching out to you in the midst of peaking summer hoping that this newsletter finds you in good spirits. As the days stretch longer and summer settles in our bones with it’s humid days and cool drinks I am looking back at my first year of homeschooling. This has been an year of exponential growth and learning for us as a family. I am beyond grateful to have had this opportunity to experience learning in it’s raw form, free from the confines of classrooms and nestled in the laps of mother nature we have witnessed our children step into their confident and curious personalities.

Reflecting back through the past twelve months made me realize something. Something that we often miss when we are setting a goal for ourselves. That is what Allah swt has decreed for us, even before we asked for it; hoped and prayed for it he has written it for us. For example, my only goal for our first year was to survive without overwhelming myself or my children in the name of learning. All I wanted was to remain that easy going mom they’ve always known without losing myself to the slimy tentacles of fear that tends to grip us moms every time our children embark towards a new milestone; What if I’m not good enough? what if I made the wrong decision? What if I’ve ruined my kids? These thoughts and worse were swimming in my head for the first couple months and I was hyper vigilant about what my kids were absorbing or learning and whether they retained enough to make something of it.

Then, sometime when we hit the mid year mark for schooling I began to question all of it? why? because my kid told me he missed having friends to play with. My mommy heart felt a crack that reverberated throughout my existence and I cried because the guilt came back in waves that became larger with each onslaught. It was our decision to homeschool, we knew they might feel isolated and we just let it happen. I began brainstorming of ways to engage in more socializing, should we ask old friends for more playdates?, should we start going to the masjid more often? Should I enroll them for some extracurriculars? It might fill our days jam packed but at least my kids won’t feel like they don’t have any friends anymore. But to my surprise and disappointment all activities for their age group just felt like time fillers, they were not being taught any real skills, but just being kept busy in the name of extra-curricular activities so that their caregivers could be appeased. So we tuned in and began taking them to the Library, local playgrounds and museums more frequently so that they could be around other kids.

Then came the depth of winter and we travelled to India. We decided on going cold turkey on any school work that they might’ve accomplished within those two months and let myself and my kids off the hook. We were going to enjoy this time as a family and be around our extended family. We made sure to have conversations about our hometown, our food, our culture which snowballed into our child’s obsession into maps and a comparison between how things were done in the global west and the way they were done in the global east ensued, and that my dear readers.. goes on to this day.

We came back to the states right before Ramadan and my anxiety about school was off the charts. Not only was I clueless about how much we had learned, I was also clueless about what was the learning expectation by the end of this schooling year. And right when my anxiety and guilt spiraled me close to a rock bottom of hope, along came a book that flipped my entire perspective as a homeschooling mother. The book turned out to be an anchor that saved our ship from being swept away in the whirling storms of self doubt and social conditioning. It’s called “Teaching from Rest by Sarah Mckenzie”.

Here are three things I learned from reading this book that changed my perspective:

1. We are not enough: As homeschooling moms we know this deep down, within our core that we are simply not enough. That what we offer is a scratch at the surface compared to what needs to be done. But we feel this way, because it is true. Because when Allah swt tells us that He is the provider “Ar-Razzaq”, it means that if we rely on him alone, he will provide us with all we need. When we truly accept this, we stop fretting over every little detail.

2. The True aim of education: Before we send off our kids on their educational journey, we need to define what true education is and what it aims at. According to the author “ True aim of education is to order a child’s affections- to teach them to love what they ought and hate what they ought. Our greatest task then, is to put living ideas in front of our children, to nourish them in truth, goodness, and beauty, to raise them up in wisdom and eloquence.” What that means for us as a family is to instill deen (faith) within our children just as much as the dunya (worldly knowledge). That we show them how to carry them both hand in hand and to strive for the best of both.

3. Curriculum isn’t something we buy: True curriculum is what we teach. What shapes us, what we embody and love. It is all the different forms of content that our children’s learning experiences. From tending to a backyard garden to volunteering for a soup kitchen. From being there for a neighbor in their time of need to cheering on friends who are moving away for better opportunities. It is our lived experiences and the way we encourage and build each other up that has the ability to shape our lives and the lives of our children.

And the most important lesson that reiterates throughout this beautiful book is that “we are meant to recognize every facet of our day as coming from the hand of God”.

What that essentially translates into is trusting Allah swt and his decree. My kid might not feel like touching a book today, me nagging him, hovering over him all the time will not change his feelings toward learning today. But being patient, accepting and accommodating of his need to lay back may result in him grabbing a book first thing the next morning or maybe not for another few days. What is key to teaching from rest is our faith in Allah’s divine wisdom and that we remember to rely on him completely. All of the above lessons apply to parents and care givers who choose the traditional education route as well, because a child’s true education begins at home.

(Summer Snippet #1: Watching the flow of a river before it falls)

(Summer Snippet #2: Dipping our toes in the river and listening to the sounds of nature on this cool evening)

(Summer snippet #3: Crossing a stream bare foot, just because.)

(Summer Snippet #4: Poring over rock formations and ledges on a hike)

(Summer Snippet #5: Reading Magic Tree House after dinner)

All pictures owned by author

P.S. this is not a brag but proof that what is meant for you will reach you by Allah’s decree, that kid who felt lonely has a whole new bunch of friends, has spent his summer gorging on more books than I can count on my fingers and indulging in board games. He prefers to spend his days reading his First Harry Potter book along with practicing mental math with his Grandfather. Alhamdulillah!

Yours Truly,

Zahra.G